THE LOAD
Its rock Jim but not as we know it.
We're hairy and hairless the beautiful damned, ladies and gentlemen.......I give you the band.
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TAFF - FRONT Taff hails from the Rhonda Valleys, a land reknowned for it's wonderful singers and scared sheep after running away from home at the tender age of ten, he urked out a living as an avon representative until his talents were spotted in an after hours drinking club just outside glasgow by tina turner who took him under her wing and spent the next fifteen years honing his amazing vocal prowess and boyish good looks into the superstar-sex-rock-god that we all know and love today tina, the world of rock thanks you
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JOHN - HAIRY GUITARIST, BACKING VOX John was abandoned as a child in the darkest coldest reaches of the himalayan mountains where he was found by sister mable of 'the light that shines under the sea of the greater lord of the big sun in the west and not in the south' convent of pontefract sister mable took him in and the sisters raised him as one of their own, teaching him in the ways of the 'les of the paul', the 'bottle of the pils' and the 'boots of the new rock' a man of mystery and hair, a true god of the rock indeed |
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CHRIS - HARD HITTER chris had fame thrust upon him as the bergerac tv series was based on his real life exploits as a nightwatchman at shipleys morrisons supermarket this was where he decided to become an inventer and over the past twenty odd years he has built his fortune to become one of the top five richest in the the microwave bacon crisper was one of his as was the k-tel panpipes cd series, but he will always be best known as the man who gave the world the ronco sewamatic
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joe is the baby of the band in more ways than one as his fave hobby outside of the excesses of the rock n roll lifestyle is to dress as a baby in specially made romper suits and large man sized nappies all this and he still finds time to do his bit for the planet by breeding pandas for the chinese food industry in the cellars of his huge mansion on the outskirts of doncaster a gentleman indeed
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DAVE - BIG BALDY BASS BASHER, BACKING VOX dave started on the entertainment circuit at an early age playing the youngest daughter of the Von Trap clan in nazi bashing classic the sound of music he sleeps in a specially made novelty kebab bed ( no salad )
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PETE - LIVE SOUND, LADIES MAN pete used to be 70's glam rock superstar noddy holder but got so pissed off with people mistaking him for vera duckworth that he underwent full body plastic surgery which unfortunately went horrifically wrong he is still waiting for the operation to reduce the size of his unfeasably large manhood |
